My Love
by origamitattoo
Summary: It has taken her three years to get over his touch but tonight he proved you can't forget your past. RyanTaylor with SethSummer
1. My Love

The loud music from the club was booming though every inch of her body. Her red dress swaying with the beat; her body sweating with every moment her dress made. It was only after her third drink did she notice her friends had left but for her the only thing that mattered at this moment was the music. Her body taking in every note; every boom like she had never heard a note of music before this night.

She was lost in a moment only to be brought back to life by a strangers hands on her waist. His large hands wrapping around her tiny waist was like heaven to her. His upper body grinded into hers as she lost a moment of reality to his hands; they were gliding down her back as she made eyes contact with the DJ.

He smiled at her; starting a song she hadn't heard in years.

Her body pushed against his; lost in the moment but then she remember she had no idea who she was dancing with and as he handed her another drink, it didn't matter anymore. She took the shot before throwing the glass to the floor. She could feel his smile on her neck.

Taylor had spent years being a good girl and she was done with that life; after all this was what college was about. Leaving her past in the past.

She took put her hand on his as it trailed along her neck bone. Every touch was an awakening she hadn't felt in years. Her body felt his electricity as his hands made their way down her sides. She wanted his hands in places that hadn't been touched in years but she wasn't one of those girls she told herself.

His breath on her neck; made her move her body closer to his. She wasn't one for dirty dancing but her body with his was almost poetry in moment. A moment like this doesn't come very often she thought.

Her body fit perfectly with his as they moved to the song. His every moment was tearing her apart inside. His hands moving back up her hipbones were making her body shiver with anticipation.

His hands twirled her around; her face making contact with his chest before looking up to see his face.

As her eyes trailed from his chest to his eyes; she gasped.

"Ryan," was all she could say before his mouth covered hers.

It had been three years since she had kissed him.


	2. Dreaming with a Broken Heart

Author Notes: Every time you see this: OX its either a flash back or a return to the present.

One week before….

Taylor was sitting alone in her apartment listening to her Ipod blaring the newest Indie rock her roommate had downloaded for her. Her laptop was open to her latest Dear Taylor advice column. A question from someone called Clingy was next. She had no idea why the Daily Californian kept her column but it was good for her future in the newspaper business.

She looked down to Clingy's letter, reading it.

_Dear Taylor, _

_I think I fall in love to easily and I fall for any guy who pays attention to me. The last guy I fell for helped me break up with an abusive boyfriend who wouldn't leave me alone; now I like him so much. What do I do? _

_-Clingy _

She kept rereading the question over and over again; her thoughts going back to the last man she fell for. She had walked away from him almost three years ago. Her heart broken every time she thought of him.

Taylor began to write her response:

_Dear Clingy, _

_Maybe you should take some time to find out who you are and what you want and need from a man before you fall again. From my own personal experience I have learned that taking a step back from a situation always helps. _

_-Taylor _

She wiped the tears from her face as she hit forward in her in box.. It had been so long since a column question made her think of him. She was at the end of her third year at Cal and she loved every moment.

Berkeley was her home now and he was her past.

OX

Spring had some early to Orange County; the Santa Ana winds were blowing hot heat all over the Southland. All of the trees on the Cohen's block were almost sideways from the blowing wind and the only two people in the world who hadn't noticed were lying in the pool house.

"Ryan, you think your funny but I know the truth; your one liners are planned months in advanced so you don't over use your daily limit," she whispered into his ear.

His hands tangled together on her lower back while her legs covered his with hers. Taylor's head nestled to his neck, "And your daily limit was used up with that quip about my Mother being the nicest woman you ever met," she said but was stopped by his finger over her mouth.

His blue eyes piercing hers as he spoke, "You know Taylor, your Mother wasn't that bad; well until she realized who I was and then that vain in her forehead came to life. How drunk was she," he laughed rolling over on top of her.

"Speaking of drunk did you see Summer and Seth; they were dancing half naked in the wading pool?" she said leaning up to place a kiss on his nose.

Today was their six-month anniversary of not dating as Ryan called it. After Marissa died he didn't want to label anything ever again. It was his defense mechanism against getting hurt again he said to her many times. As for Taylor she was just happy to be with him. To friends and family they weren't even two people anymore. Seth called them Rylor; Ryan of course smacked him when he said it the first few times but like with every that came with being with Taylor he just went with the flow now.

A new Ryan had come to the surface in the wake of Marissa passing. He used to be anger, he used to be everyone's savior and he used to close off whenever something was wrong.

But with Taylor at his side Ryan stopped trying to save everyone and started to save himself. Ryan stopped being anger at a past he couldn't change instead looked to a future with his non-girlfriend at Cal in the fall.

The largest change for Ryan was letting her in. She may have pushed her way into his life but when he let his walls down she was everything the other woman in his life had never been.

She was strong for him and for Ryan that was enough.

Taylor looked back up at Ryan with an evil smile, "Did you know your parents are going away for the weekend? Sandy asked me to keep an eye out for you," she said licking the vain on his neck causing him to moan slowly, "so my idea of keeping on eye on you has a lot to do with locking the pool house door and walking around in my geisha costume…" and before she could finish his mouth was devouring hers.

He knew his parents would be gone for the weekend; he had already planned the weekend for them. A surprise that was going to blow his non-girlfriend's mind he thought deepening his kiss with her. His inside were melting with every moan she managed to muster up.

OX

Taylor was brought back to life as her roommate threw a pillow at her head.

"Hay loser, what planet you on right now?" she yelled across the room at Taylor.

"Planet, wait what?" she said shaking her head trying to get Ryan out of her mind, "Oh I am just finishing my last Dear Taylor letter before break."

Apprehension crossed Summer's face as she took a better look at Taylor. Her face was blank as she talked about her last mid term and how she got tickets for the UCLA VS Cal game on Thursday night.

Summer walked over to her friend, "Taylor please stop talking."

Taylor hadn't even realized she was still talking as Summer asked her to stop, "I'm sorry Sum, I was just thinking about, about him," she said pointing at a photo behind Summer's head.

The photo she was pointing at was taken seconds after graduation, the girls were wearing dark purple gowns and the boys were wearing dark blue gowns. The five friends had huge smiles; it was moments after Taylor put it put it best, "I hope the memory of our friendship will be everlasting." She had no idea when she spoke those words how meaningful they would become.

"Ryan," was all Summer said looking back at her friend.

"Tay, let's go get Sushi and talk," she said to Taylor leaning down to hug her friend.

As the two friends left their apartment Taylor looked back one more time at the photo on the wall. Ryan was smiling at her in the photo; she only wished he could still look at her like that but after what she had done. She could never be forgiven she thought

She was brought back to life by Summer speaking, "Tay, let's hit the pool hall after we eat. I bet we can take some frat boys for their rent money again."

"Of course, playing those frat boy is like taking candy from a baby," she laughed forgetting about Ryan for the moment.


	3. Crashed

Thanks to my new Beta MM, she rocks. Lex your next. I really really want to thank you all for your reviews. Ten points to the person who names the band the title of the Chapters belong too.

Peace Out

* * *

Spring break had come to the students at Cal and for most it was a time to get away from the little hippie town but for Taylor and Summer it meant going home to Orange County for the first time in three years. Well, for Taylor it would be the first time. The drive from the Bay area to Orange County would take eight hours, three bathroom breaks and one Ipod. Highway Five was buzzing with the roar of big rigs and people speeding along. 

They started to make their way over the Grapevine when Taylor finally spoke about him.

"So he won't be home? Sum, tell me the truth. What did Seth say? I need to know everything. I just don't think I am ready to see him. Even after all these years."

"Wow, Tay, you're at a ten and we need you at a three, calm down. Seth said he would be at his dorm all week. Chapman's break isn't till next week, so he has midterms. Tay, you're acting crazy and a little more then usual. Seth mumbled something about Ryan not making it to my birthday party either so you don't have to worry about that."

Looking over the steering wheel, Summer rolled her eyes while Taylor hit the next button on the Ipod. The two friends sat in silence till they hit downtown Los Angeles. The city was alive; cars rushing by, the skyscrapers were lit from bottom to top and the billboards were telling anyone who could read to drink Grey Goose Vodka. This was Los Angeles, a city unlike any other in the world but for them it was just a city on the way home.

As they crossed over the border of Orange County, they passed Knott's Berry Farm, Taylor mind flooded with memories of her only New Years with him. The two couples had spent the dawning of the New Year on Montezooma's Revenge screaming bloody murder. A picture was taken as the ride went into reverse and it still sat in its frame on Summer's side of the bed. Taylor had put her copy away in the brown box under her bed with the countless other momentos from those months spent with him.

Summer changed lanes to enter the 55 freeway which took them to Newport she looked at her friend.

"Tay, your zoning again. We'll be at the Cohen's in twenty mins if the traffic doesn't blow on Newport Blvd."

"Sum, traffic on a Friday night on Newport Blvd always sucks. I just can't wait to see the Cohen's."

The Cohen's had become her family since her mother had thrown her out all those year ago. She had lived in the guestroom next to Seth's till she left to go to Cal. Kirsten was the mother she never had before, still she called once a week to check up on her. Being with Ryan had calmed Taylor so much so that no one seemed to remember a Taylor before Ryan.

"I bet Capitan Oak's missed Princess Sparkle," Summer said, laughing.

"I bet he did, Sum, I'm just glad to be going home," she spoke, looking out the window as they turned onto PCH.

As the car drove into the Cohen's driveway, Sandy and Kirsten walked out to meet them with hugs and kisses. In moments, Summer's legs were wrapped around Seth as they hugged. Sandy and Kirsten met Taylor with hugs and kind words, "Taylor, you're all grown up now" and "Taylor, you're beautiful".

For Taylor it was just nice to be back in the arms of parents who loved her even when she wasn't perfect. Taylor had only seen her real mother once since she had kicked her out all those years ago. It had been Valentine's Day. Her mother had been drunk, to tell the truth everyone that night was a bit tipsy. Summer and Seth had found a wading pool outside the St Regis to dance the Tango in and Ryan and Taylor had walked along the beach in Laugna till a bottle of champagne was finished. It was a night not enough her mother could have ruined.

Sandy started talking about breakfast for dinner and Taylor smiled.

"You know Sandy, in many Asian cultures they don't par take in breakfast as we do in America," she kept talking as he grabbed her shoulder.

"Listen Taylor, how about we eat and then talk Asian cultures' food intake over coffee, I missed you kid," he said, entering the house with Taylor at his side.

* * *

_Ryan waved goodbye to the Cohen's as the pulled their Ranger Rover from the driveway. He had been planning a romantic weekend with Taylor since Sandy had told him they were taking a trip to San Deigo. Seth had taken Taylor and Summer to Downtown Disney for the lunch at the Rainforst Café so Ryan could set up the house for tonight. As the hours passed, Ryan became more nervous about what he was going to say to her. He wasn't much of a talker but tonight he had found the words to express how he felt for his non-girlfriend._

_Seth, Summer and Taylor had made their way back to the Cohen's as the sun was setting in the west. As they were walking to the front door, Seth and Summer said goodbye before Taylor had time to blink. She was stunned her friends had left her._

_"Guys, where are you going? Wait, where is Ryan? Guys?" she said before feeling arms wrap around her waist._

_His fingers locked around hers as he turned her body into his kissing her._

_"I made you dinner, Taylor," he said kissing her mouth one last time before leading her to the kitchen._

_As she entered the kitchen she stopped dead in her tracks. Thousand of twinkly lights placed all over the room along with candles covering most of the center console. The kitchen table was set for two. A bottle of white wine was opened next to a vase full of burgundy, light and dark pink, and red roses. Her mind was swirling._

_"Ryan, oh my God, this is beautiful. You did this for me?"_

_"Of course I did this for you"_

_"But why? I know it's not our non-anniversay because that was last week. Ryan, why?"_

_He took her by her hand leading her to the table before answering her, "Taylor, will you sit down and just go with it?"_

_Her face turned into a sideways smile. As he took a seat aross from her she finally took a look at him. He was wearing a baby blue dress shirt with her favorite dark desginer jeans. His hair has just been cut and his faced newly shaved. He looked more handosme then usual._

_Dinner was wonderful, she thought taking her last bite of the roast. The food was so wonderful and made even better by the fact Ryan had made it._

_"Taylor, I have something important to say to you."_

* * *

Dinner with the Coehn's was everything Taylor had remembered. Sandy talking about surfing while Kirsten spoke about Julie's new millianare husband and work. Seth went on and on about his new comic book. Life had seemed for the most part to go on as usual but no one spoke of Ryan. He was the offical white elaphant in the room at all time she thought. 

When she entered the guestroom her thoughts were flooded with more memoires of her past with Ryan. She was going crazy inside and she had to get out. Taylor grabbed her hand bag and ran down the stairs taking Summer's keys; she was almost to the front door when she was stopped by Seth calling her name from the kitchen.

"Taylor!" was all she heard as she closed the front door.

She jumped into Summer's car turned on the car and was gone.


	4. Tracks of my Tears

Author Note: I am from Orange County so the details you read are real. So you might be confused about this chapter but I say go with it, If you hate it I'm sorry but my mind is flooding with ideas about Ryan and Taylor. Read and Review cause the next Chapter will come quicker.

Lex my beta you rock my socks…

* * *

Taylor drove east towards the 55 freeway, she had lost track of time but when the car took the north exit at Chapman Ave, she knew where she was going. Her mind was whirling with whys but her heart had another plan. It was an inner battle she had been fighting since leaving Orange County all those years ago.

She lowered the radio as she passed the local high school, which was caddy corner to the college. She parked the car in the last guest stop at the on campus apartments. Then grabbed a knit cap Summer kept behind the drivers seat and pulled her hair back into a bun.

Her heart was fluttering with every step she took towards the front gate. She had no idea which apartment was his or even who he was living with because she had spent the last three years shushing anyone who brought up his name.

She stopped dead in her tracks as she heard the voice of the man who had been haunting her dreams all these years later.

She threw herself behind the only thing available for shelter; a recycle bin four times larger then herself. She held onto the bin as he walked by talking into his cell phone.

"If you want to come over for dinner, I wouldn't mind cooking between studying… Yes I want to see you, too… Two-Buck Chuck is fine…. See you tomorrow night."

The apartment's front entrance door open and Ryan was gone.

Taylor sat on the ground next to the recycle bin for more moments then she would have liked too. Her lower body wasn't listening to the upper part. Being within 3 feet of Ryan had sent her over her daily amount of sane.

"What was I thinking?" she said standing up and brushing her jeans off.

Taking one last took at the door he had just walked into she again spoke out loud, "Of course he has a girlfriend,"

Before Taylor had time to move she heard the entrance of the apartment door open again.

She had no time to hide this time. He was walking towards her with a paper bag full of cans and bottles.

Ryan looked up to smile at the person standing in front of him but he was not ready for what was standing in front of him.

Her face was blank as she found the only word her mouth could gather up, "Hey."

* * *

"Taylor, I have something important to say to you," he said shifting his weight from one leg to the other. His hands were sweaty and his pulse was moving faster then usual.

Taylor looked up from her empty plate to meet Ryan's blue eyes. She was stunned by the fear in his eyes. He was also beginning to become pale with every passing moment.

As she stood to walk to his side he put his hand up in defiance, "I feel fine, I just have something to tell you, so please sit back down."

She nodded and took her seat again. She watched him take another sip of wine then looking at her.

"I have been thinking about us a lot in the last couple weeks, I want you to know how I feel. I need for you to understand how much you mean to me."

His hand extended to hers as he spoke.

"Taylor you came into my life at a time when I was rendered damaged goods, you never once pushed me into anything. You even let our relationship be called a non-relationship after six months. You held my hand every time we went to visit Marissa's grave. Your patience with me has been more then any man could ever ask for. You have never questioned my devotion to you even when I couldn't say it to you."

Her heart was pounding as he kept speaking. While her eyes welled up with tears.

" I need you to know I am in deep. I am in love with you, Taylor."

As he finished saying her name; she leaned into his face almost touch her nose to his.

"I could have waited forever just to hear you say that out loud because for me your it but I have known for a long time Ryan, you have to know that."

She kissed him quickly before speaking again.

"The way you kiss my shoulder when I'm nervous, to the way you wipe the top of the soda cans for me, to the way you rest your hand on my leg when I drive. That is love. For me, it's those moments only you and I notice. Our love isn't like others and that is why I can honestly say I am so in love with you, Ryan. "

He took her face in his hand and kissed her.

As he pulled back from the kiss he said in an amused voice, "Dude I have a girlfriend."

Taylor laughed at his attempt to be funny, "Stick to your day job, baby."

"And now your calling me baby?" he said standing up and taking her hand again

"It's a trial period, Ryan. I have 30 days to pick a suitable pet name for you, or I have to return you, and we don't want that do we?" she said with a silly grin.

"Is their anyway to negotiate the return policy," he said, watching her run out the kitchen door near the pool.

"Sorry honey, but your girlfriend already signed her name on the dotted line."

"Oh no. You're not calling me honey either," he said taking one large step towards her tiny body pushing them into the pool.

As she came up for air he heard her scream, "Ok, Cupcake."

* * *

"Hey."

"Taylor," was all Ryan could think to say.

He never thought she would show up at his apartment. Summer had been clear on the phone early that Taylor was not interested in seeing him and now she was standing in front of him.

She looked beautiful, he thought. Her hair was darker then he remembered and she was dressed different. Gone were the expensive cloths and accessories she once wore on a daily basis. The woman standing before him was clad in old Levi's missing the tags, and a ratty old t-shirt with Cal written in block letters. His Taylor wouldn't have been caught dead wearing this. Her new look only reminded him how much time had passed since he had seen her.

"You look good."

"You too", she said looking at her feet.

"Did you come by to talk, cause we can go inside," he said trying to get her to make eye contact.

"You know what, Ryan, this, here, you and me this is a, I just gotta go."

He watched her run to her car. He didn't understand anything that just happened.

He thought back to the first time she kissed him; the look on her face as she ran from the pool house, it was the same look he had just seen.

She was scared, but this time he was gonna go after her.

* * *


	5. I'm Not Dead

Author Note: Thanks your kind Reviews and Thanks for my kick ass Beta Lex.

* * *

The moon was high in the sky by the time Ryan drove his jeep up the Cohen's drive way. As he walked into the place he called home for all these years, he slowly made his way up the stairs to the guestroom. He had no idea what he would say to her but it was better then walking away like she had done not only tonight but also all those years ago. She had to have a reason for showing up at his apartment, he thought.

He opened the door to the guestroom, taking a look around the room only to realize it was empty. Her suitcase was still unopened and lying on the chair next to the bed. Something caught his eye as he walked over to the bed, a picture he hadn't seen in years.

Ryan picked up the frame, tracing the outline of people in the picture with his hand. Seth had gotten his mom a sterling silver frame with the words Best Chrismukkah Ever printed on the bottom. It was the only holiday he spent with Taylor.

He laughed out loud at the silly picture; Seth had kissed Summer cheek as she punched his arm, Sandy was giving his wife bunny ears, Julie and Kaitlin were both giving the camera the sexiest looks they could, and Ryan had jumped onto Taylor's back, causing her to fall over onto the sofa.

It was the best Chrismukkah ever, he thought before again realizing she wasn't here still.

"Damn it Taylor, where are you?"

He heard the guestroom door open. He looked up to see Summer. She was only wearing an old worn out t-shirt.

Ryan watched her realize it wasn't Taylor in the guestroom but him; she quickly pulled the end of T-shirt down to her knees.

"Ryan, what are you doing here? I thought you were Taylor making all kinds of noise. She left hours ago," the tiny brunette said walking to his side pulling her shirt down again.

"She went to see you, didn't she?"

He nodded, "She was outside the entrance to the apartments. She started stuttering when I asked her if she wanted to come in and talk; then she ran off. I just wanted to make sure she was ok."

Summer laid a hand on his shoulder, "It took three years for her to come back here, Ryan. I know she has a lot to say to you."

He looked at his old friend knowing that even time couldn't heal old wounds as some would like to think.

"Summer, seeing her again, it just made me realize how much I miss her and that I still…"

She stopped him before he could say anything else, "Ry, don't say it to me, tell her."

She stood, walking to the door before turning back.

"So I will see you tomorrow night for dinner, I hit up Trader's Joes with Seth earlier tonight for the wine. I am glad we are going to visit Marissa together."

"Call me when you find her, Sum," he said waving goodnight.

He looked back at the frame on the nightstand; it only made him miss her even more. It had taken him all this time to move on but he hadn't.

He tried dating, but each woman he took out wasn't her.

And to think there was a time when she was afraid I would never get over loving Marissa, he thought, lying down on one side of the bed.

He closed his eye and soon was snoring softy.

* * *

Ryan woke up in a daze, he didn't know where he was for a moment; he slowly remembered he was in the Cohen's guestroom waiting for Taylor. He looked to the other side of the bed half expecting her to be next to him but she wasn't there.

He walked out of the guestroom heading for the kitchen; he needed coffee before he left for school.

As he made his way into the kitchen he heard voices.

"Taylor if you get this message, please call us. We're all worried about you just call please," he heard Summer say.

He listened to Summer shut her cell phone and listened to Seth mumble in whispered tone to her.

Ryan waited for the couple of nearly five years to finish talking in low voices before he entered.

He walked into the kitchen to see Seth taking a sip of his coffee and Summer setting her cell phone down next to the coffee maker. Seth still in his sleep pants and white undershirt; while Summer had on a pair of boxer's with a tank top.

"Hey"

"Hey," Seth answered back.

"Coffee?" Summer asked.

"Yes please," Ryan said walking over to the bagels. He cut the bagel in half and smeared the wiped cream cheese on to both half's before looking up at his friends.

Ryan was not in the mood to talk about what happened last night but when he looked at Summer's face he knew something was wrong.

He could tell she was starting to get worried about the whereabouts of her best friend. He knew they were like sisters now and if she was worried; they all should be.

"Have you called Julie, she stayed with her for a while back in the day, or maybe she drove up to UCLA to crash with Kaitlin," Ryan asked.

"I called Julia, she had the maids look in all the rooms for her with no luck," Seth answered quickly.

Summer cut in, "And I called Kaitlin, she is on her way right now for spring break, she said she hadn't heard from Tay since New Years."

Ryan watched Seth put his arms Summer's waist as he tried to comfort her.

"Listen dude, I will be on Taylor watch for the rest of day," Seth lying a kiss on Summer's exposed neck as she whispered, "thank you."

Ryan took one last bite of his bagel before checking the clock on the kitchen wall. It was getting late, he thought looking up at his friends.

"Guys, I have class in an hour and half, so I have to go take a shower and get going," he said walking to the back door.

Summer followed him to the door, "I will call you if I hear from her and I will see you tonight.

He walked into the backyard on his way to the pool house. The windows of the pool house were moist on the outside from the early morning fog.

That's weird, he thought walking closer to the pool house door, 'the blinds were down.

He opened the door to the house, suddenly every thing made sense.

Sleeping on his bed was Taylor; she was on his side of the bed with her arms around his favorite pillow. Her face still puffy from crying made him cringe inside.

As he walked closer to her, he noticed something he had never seen before. She had a tattoo on the inside of her left wrist, but he couldn't make out what it was. So he walked to her side, slowly sitting down on the bed next to her. He softy picked up her arm making sure not to wake her and he took a closer look.

Her tattoo was a tiny red heart with the word Taken written in small block letters.

He let go of her arm just as slowly as he had picked it up. He walked out of the pool house straight to his Jeep and left.

* * *


	6. Confessions Of A Broken Heart

The smoking bar was loud from bombing with classic rock. It was the last of its kind, an old Irish bar with butts on the ground, two-dollar shots and a bartender who knows your name. The pool tables were almost too old but no one cared. This college bar was a secret only a few knew, even the resident frat boys never told their friends for fear it would ruin it.

He was sitting alone at the end of bar, with his mother's favorite drink; a gin and tonic swirling in the glass in his hand. The only thoughts in his mind were of a tattoo.  
He never saw her come into the bar, never saw her order a drink, and never felt her sit down next to him.

"Ryan, your roommate said I could find you here," she said, touching his arm.

He took his last slip of his drink, "You didn't have to come find me."

Ryan raised his hand to the bartender, "Wes, another one and make it a double."

"You know drinking isn't going to make the tattoo go away, or her"

He looked at her stunned, "How did you know?"

"Yee of little faith, I am all knowing for I am Summer Roberts," she said making him crack a smile.

"And when Taylor woke up, she came inside, I just put the pieces together."

"I need you to explain, I need to know."

"Ryan, I can't even begin to explain Taylor to anyone and especially you. Between you and I, I think we are the only ones who could even put a dent into that topic."

He looked over to her and took another drink, "Summer Roberts, I will have Wes kick your ass out of here if you don't tell me about the tattoo."

Summer downed her rum and coke then turned her body into his.

"I will tell you about the tattoo but the rest you to the source for, deal?"

He took a deep breath before answering, "Tell me about the tattoo."

The bartender walked towards the two with a bottle of tequila and two shot glasses. He placed them in front of the twosome.

"You want the truth Ryan?" she said taking the bottle in her tiny hand.

"Summer, quit the bull and tell me," he said watching her pour two shots.

"Atwood, we are gonna take these shots, cause your gonna need it."

* * *

Christmas was coming to the Bay Area. Thanksgiving had come and gone to everyone in their apartment complex, everyone that is but Taylor and Summer. Since Taylor was holding her ground about not going home, Summer had stayed to be with her friend.

She watched her friend open another bottle of wine before she said another word, "Seriously, Tay, this isn't a good idea. Just think back, in ten years are you gonna wanna see some stupid anime thingy or some slutty tramp stamp that will get all messed up when you have kids."

"You know Summer, it's like you don't even know me, so now you have to wait till its over to even see what I am planning on getting," she said, taking another drink from her wine glass.

"Oh I can't wait," she said under her breath.

Summer watched her finish her third glass of wine then pick up her hang bag and keys.

She ran in front of the door stopping her, "Oh no, you're not driving, if you want to do this I am coming."

Taking the car keys from Taylor's hand she grabbed her backpack and cell phone. A call to Seth wouldn't stop her but maybe talking to Ryan could, but Taylor would never speak to Ryan so what's the point, she thought.

The drive was a short distance; to the tattoo parlor right off campus.

The ugly blinking sign was missing almost too many letters from the word Tattoo that you wouldn't have never known what you walking in to. The walls of the parlor were filled with hundreds of sketches in hundreds of different styles. The smell of rubbing alcohol was almost too much for Summer to handle, until she heard the tattoo gun start up.

"Taylor you sure about this?"

"Yes, I have only one regret in life and this won't even hold a close second."

Summer followed her friend, they walked into the tattoo room; Taylor sat down in the swivel chair and spoke to the very large and tattooed man while Summer stood next to the door waiting. When the tattoo gun started Summer walked outside to call Seth.

It took less then twenty minutes before Taylor was walking out of the room with tears in her eyes and her left wrist was wrapped in gaze. Summer followed close behind.

"Tay, slow down. I have short legs."

"It's done. I want to go home. Please just leave it alone till morning."

Summer stopped walking, "No Taylor, you don't get to do this to me, too. You don't get to walk away, that's not how we work. I am your best friend and you just inked your skin for the rest of your life. Now show me what you got."

Taylor stopped as Summer had asked, she turned to her, "You just called me your best friend, Sum." That was the first time you ever said it out loud, I mean I have thought it for awhile, but you have never said it."

"You're changing the subject, and yes you're my best friend. Now show me the damn tattoo before I go all rage black out on your ass," she said laughing, walking to her friend's side.

Slowly Taylor started to remove the gaze, "Sum, I need you to know something before I show this to you. I need you to know why I walked, well ran away from Ryan. And instead of beating around the bush I am just gonna say it," tears running down her face again.

"Taylor," she said hugging her friend.

"A man at a party you and I were at in San Diego over four months ago raped me. I was so ashamed and broken, I ran away. I never told anyone. How could I look Ryan in the face and tell him, some other man took me away from him because after that moment I was no longer that Taylor. Haven't you ever wondered why I stopped wearing revealing clothes?"

Summer knew she wasn't looking for an answer, just someone to listen to her.

"I was in love with him, Sum, and I still am. If I could change that night, and the weeks that followed I would, it was all my fault."

Her voice was now unrecognizable, just the sobs of a broken woman. Summer held onto her friend till they slowly slid onto the cold sidewalk together. It broke her heart to watch her best friend breakdown, but she also knew the healing could finally begin.

Taylor wiped her tears away with the gaze left over from her arm, as she lifted her wrist to Summer's face.

The small heart with the word Taken was her new tattoo.

"My heart is spoken for."

* * *

Author Note: So I was sick all week so I hope you enjoyed this. A HUGE thank you for all the people who left me reviews.

Thanks again for Lex my wonderful Beta, your rock.


	7. Wonderwall

He looked her up and down; her face told the story of heartbreak and truth. He listened to her tell the story of his girlfriend running away because a man tore her insides out. Nothing made sense to him while she spoke. A confusion he had never felt before and he was getting anger at every passing moment. When she finished speaking he watched her take another shot.

Time had stood still while she was speaking and when reality came back he noticed the once quite bar was now alive with tons of people. He placed a twenty on the bar, nodding to the bartender and stood up. Summer followed him outside.

"Ryan, I told you more then I should have, but I am not sorry. She is my best friend and I watched her try to put the pieces of her life back together the last three years but she isn't even close to being whole yet."

"You're telling me that the woman who walked away from me all those years ago, did it because she was afraid of what I would think of her?"

"No, I think she was just afraid general. She kept saying it was her fault, she thinks she asked for it, by the way she was dressed and how she was acting."

"Taylor is too smart to think that, this makes no sense."

"Ryan, you could never understand how it feels to have your body violated like that, you have no right to judge her."

The walked in silence the four blocks to Ryan's apartment. He knew he had to study but tonight there was no way that would happen. He heard her call Seth and ask to be picked up. Neither were ok to drive, alcohol or not; to many emotions were flying though both of their heads at the moment.

"So much for dinner and two-buck Chuck, huh?" she said looking at her feet then to his face.

He cracked a smile, "And so much for studying either."

"You should wait for her, Ryan. Let her come to you. My birthday party is in four days, and I want you there no matter what happens."

"Summer, I can't keep waiting for her. You don't get it. She left me, she walked away; I just can't do this, then last night she did it again. She needs to grow up and deal with her past before even the thought of me can come into play again, tattoo or not," he said as the veins in his neck erupted.

Car lights blinked at them as Ryan continued to yell, "I was in love with her, Summer. I could have helped her but she had to make that decision on her own. We were a team, and then suddenly there is an I in team."

Seth had pulled the Range Rover over when he saw Ryan's demeanor. He could see the Chino part of his brother coming out and he was taking it out on his girlfriend. He left the car running as he jumped out, running to her side.

"You can't expect me to stop my life for her again." he was cut off by Seth.

"Dude what are you doing? Stop yelling at Summer," he said, putting a protective arm around her.

The rain had started pouring down as he finally stopped looking at his friends. Summer was in tears listening to him yell at her, and Seth was about to try to break him in half.

'What I am doing, he thought. He turned to walk away from his friends when Summer's hand stopped him.

"Ryan," she whispered.

He took a deep breath, inhaling and exhaling, "Just let me go, I need to sober up so I can study. I will call you both in the morning," and he was gone.

Seth opened his arms as she walked into them, "Baby, he knows."

He stood holding his tipsy girlfriend till she let go. She looked up to his face smiling, "Let's go home."

* * *

Taylor sat alone in the Cohen's guestroom watching the rain start to fall outside. 

'It was perfect end to a horrible twenty-four hours, she thought as she turned her Ipod on to her favorite song. A song that reminded her of Ryan, she hit repeat one, as the door opened slowly.

"Taylor, sweetie, are you in here? Dinner is ready," Kirsten said looking at the room. Her eyes stopped on Taylor sitting in a chair with her eyes closed listening to headphones. She walked over touching her leg.

As her hand touched Taylor's skin, her eyes flew open, "Oh my, Kirsten you scared me."

"Dinner is ready, it's just Sandy, you and I. Seth had to go pick up Summer. I think her dinner with Ryan went arye."

"Did you just say Ryan was having dinner with Summer?" she said in a shocked tone.

"Oh, she didn't tell you? He makes her dinner every at least one time were she comes home, they go and visit Marissa together."

"She never told me they do that together," she said looking at her hands, "I guess he doesn't want to go alone, huh?"

"No, I think it's more then that. Can I tell you something only a mom would say?"

Taylor nodded yes.

"He loves Summer like a sister, she is his connection to his past love and his present."

Kirsten leaned into Taylor as she realized what was just said. The two women sat hugging until Sandy walked in.

"Ladies, the mushu pork is getting cold and Seth called, he will be home soon with Summer."

The two women stood up walking towards Sandy, "Way to ruin a girly moment there, Mr. Cohen."

"Well, I do what I can."

* * *

The three of them were laughing as Seth walked in with Summer at his side. The room fell silent at the sight of a drunken Summer. She was giggling to herself as she tripped. 

"OW, Seth you let go of me, Hey Mr. C, you're looking lovely tonight," she said laughing stumbling towards the table.

Taylor watched as her friend sat down, or attempted to sit down as she fell to the floor.

"Summer, are you drunk?" she said helping her up.

"Oh ya, really drunk. We drank to much while we talked about you, then he yelled at me and then Seth saved me from Kid Chino, cause he was soooo mad at you," she said pointing at Taylor's face but she missed, touching her ear.

Sandy and Kirsten silently left the table, leaving the three alone.

"Taylor, don't listen to her, she is drunk and verging on disorderly."

"Oh no you don't Seth, you don't get to defend her, Summer Roberts what did you do?" she said standing up. Taylor stood in front of Summer towering over her with anger in her eyes.  
"I told him, Tay. I told him everything," she said standing up and taking off to the nearest bathroom.

Seth followed her to the bathroom but stopped turning back to Taylor.

"Taylor, you should talk to him, he deserves that much."

She watched him walk away as her emotions took over again. The tears were flooding down her face as she walked outside into the rain. She stood in the pouring rain crying, she just wanted to go home.

* * *

Thanks for all your fantastic reviews, you're all blowing my mind, so thanks. Please review... 

Lindsay


	8. Keep Holding On

As morning came Ryan rolled over onto his back, he stared at the ceiling thinking about everything that had happened since storm Taylor had come back into town. He was so conflicted; angry with the man who hurt the woman he loved and then angry at the woman who ran away from him.

He turned over reaching for his cell phone; he dialed the only person he could talk too.

"Yo, Ruff night."

"How long have you known about Taylor?"

"Only since yesterday afternoon, look Ryan; take my advice, wait for her to come to you."

"She left me, Seth, I am not waiting around for her anymore."

"Seriously Ryan, get over yourself. A man raped your girlfriend," the phone went dead.

Ryan threw the phone across the room, knocking a framed photo of him and Taylor to the ground.

'Could this get any worse', he thought.

He walked over to his broken phone, placing the battery back on to cell phone and as he hit power the cell phone started ringing.

"How bad was I last night," he said after looking at his call id.

"How would I know, I was just as drunk as you."

"Don't pull the crap with me today, just tell me what happened."

"I am pretty sure I told her we talked and I'm pretty sure she's gonna kick my ass. I haven't seen her yet but I am hiding in the guestroom. I guess Seth isn't happy with my performance last night either."

"Great."

"Ryan, you have to talk to her. I heard Mr. C saying something about having to pick Taylor up off the grass in your backyard in the pouring rain last night. I just don't want her to do something stupid, Ryan I can't lose another friend."

It hit him like a ton of brinks, this wasn't about him; it was about the people he loves. He had a right to be mad all this time but the moment Summer told him the truth he should have dropped everything and gone to her.

'I'm being selfish and stubborn; it was going to end right now', he thought before speaking again.

"I am in love with her still."

"I know your're in love with her, you don't have to tattoo it on your arm, it's that goofy grin you get when someone says her name or the wrinkle you get on your forehead when you're thinking about her," she said, watching Seth walk into the guestroom with princess sparkle.

"Hey Ryan, I gotta go, Seth has princess sparkle hanging from a rope," she said in a serious tone," Cohen I'm gonna kick your ass."

Ryan rolled his eyes laughing at his friends.

* * *

The quiet of the pool house where Taylor was lying on the bed, typing on her laptop was ended when she heard Summer screaming. She jumped to her feet running towards her friend's voice. Even though she was anger at her friend for spilling her secret to Ryan the sound of her shirking was enough to send her over the emotional edge. 

When she got to the pool house window, she became witness so something she never saw coming. Seth had Summer in his arms and he was dangling her over the pool. She was screaming for him to put her down, while he just kept saying something about crossing a line. In moments, Summer was thrown into the deep end of the pool, shoes and all.

Taylor watched as Summer swam to the side of the pool, she was laughing as she grabbed his lower body taking him into the water with her. In a moment they were kissing and pushing each other under the water, Taylor loved watching them being in love.

Before she could blink again, Summer was crying as Seth picked her up setting her on the side of the pool then he pulled himself out of the pool. He placed his face close to hers causing Taylor to opened to door to hear them.

"Cohen, what did you just say?" she said with tears in her eyes.

"I said, marry me, Summer Roberts," he whispered into her ear pulling a soggy little black velvet box from his pant pocket.

She whispered back, "yes."

Taylor closed the door and brought the blinds down so they could have privacy. This moment was a long time coming for her friends, made perfect by another silly fight that has already been forgotten.

* * *

The drive to the Cohen's house was longer then usual, traffic on the 55 Freeway was backed up from the 5 freeway to its end in Costa Mesa. Ryan was stuck in the horror of evening commute, trying to get to the Cohen's to talk to Taylor. As he entered the driveway he noticed extra cars in the driveway.

Ryan didn't come to see anyone but Taylor so he walked around the side of the house, skipping the front door. As he rounded the house into the backyard, he noticed many voices all-talking at the same time. Not that it was very uncommon with his family but one voice he hadn't heard in years, Dr Robert's. As he got closer he saw Taylor standing next to a glowing Summer; both were wearing floral dresses. Seth was shaking Dr. Robert's hand and Kirsten was crying on Sandy's shoulder.

It didn't make any sense to Ryan, till Summer raised her hand and he saw it. The ring Seth had been carrying around for months, waiting to ask her to marry him was now on her finger. Every thought he had about his mission today was thrown out the window as he walked over to his best friend and brother; he put his arm around Seth's neck forcing him into a hug.

"You did it man, I am so proud of you."

"Well I blame you for all of this, if you hadn't gotten my girl all drunk and stupid last night," he said before Summer's hand covered his mouth.

"Atwood, don't listen to him, he's crazy, it's the Cohen talking," she said replacing her hand with a kiss.

She then let go of Seth to hug him and whispered, "Go talk to her, Ryan."

"Later, right now it's about you and Seth," he said looking over at Taylor; who was talking very animated with Sandy. He watched her hands as she spoke with him about a class at Cal. As her hand traveled to her face, she pushed a hair behind her ear as her eyes hit his.

His eyes never leaving hers, as he walked away from the happy couple, passing Dr. Roberts and Kirsten with a smile stopping only when he reached to Sandy and Taylor. Ryan's daze was broken as Sandy shook his hand and mumbled something about not needing matches.

"Hey," she said breaking eye contact, looking at her hands.

"Hey, look Taylor, I want to talk to you, so meet me later," he said touching her chin, gently moving it up.

Her eyes met his again, "Anywhere, anytime."

* * *

Summer's ring can be found on my user profile as my home page. Thanks for the support and reviews

Thanks to my fan-freaking-tastic beta Lex. Let me know what you think, peace out.


	9. Author Note Beta Found

Author Note: I am looking for a new Beta, please contact me so i can send the next update to you. Lindsay


	10. Running up that Hill

As the gathering of family and friends ended at the Cohen's home, Ryan watched Taylor slip away to the pool house; Seth has said something about Taylor moving her suitcase in earlier. He finished speaking to Sandy before following her.

As he opened the door his he saw her sitting at the kitchen bar typing on her laptop. He watched her for a few moments before clearing his throat. She stopped typing before looking over to him.

"Hey," she said standing up, walking over to him. She stopped a foot away from him and sat down on the leather chair next to the bed. Ryan sat down on the edge of the bed before anything else was said.

She shifted in her seat, trying not to make eye contact but his eyes seemed to be a more intense shade of blue then usual.

"I don't even know where to start," she whispered lifting her hands to cover her face.

He reached over taking her hands from her face into his, "Taylor, you should have come to me, us against the world, right?"

She nodded as a single tear rolled down her face. The feel of his hands holding hers was one of those things she always missed.

"It was all my fault, how could I look you in the face when I couldn't look at myself in the mirror"

"There is no way anything that happened to you that night was your fault, it doesn't matter what you wore or how you acted, no woman deserves what happened to you"

He lowered himself to the floor, sitting on his knees below her.

"You shouldn't have run. We could have dealt with it."

She looked down at him, "Deal with it, I know what you would have done Ryan. Kid Chino would have avenged my rapist then where would it have left me, you in jail and I would have been alone."

His faced turned from understanding to anger as he let go of her hands and stood up, "You have no right to assume anything about what I would or wouldn't have done, that is not fair."

"Oh, so you're not the guy who got in more fights than Tyson did in his heyday. I am not apologetic for assuming my boyfriend would have driven to LA, found the guy, and kicked his sorry pathetic ass back to last year."

She stood up walking over to him; hitting his chest with her tiny fist, "Take it out on me Ryan, I am the one who let him buy me a drink, I am the one who told Summer it was ok to leave and pick up Kaitlin, I said everything will be ok, everything was ok, I was ok."

He grabbed her hands, "Taylor, stop. Stop hitting me, stop blaming yourself and let me in," he said taking her tiny body into his. Her sobbing tears were rolling down her face onto his shoulder.

"He raped me," she screamed into his chest. "He pushed me into a bathroom stall, threw me on the floor, ripped my panties off and he…"

Her body went limp as she spoke; he picked her up and carried her to the bed. He tried to set her down but her body clung to his.

"Tay baby, it's ok, everything will be ok now," he whispered into her ear.

He held onto her as the sobbing came to a whisper.

"I am so sorry, Ryan," she said before falling asleep in his arms.

* * *

The clock hit three am when Ryan rolled over, rubbing the other side of the bed to find it cold. His eyes flew open wondering where Taylor was. He stood up looked around to find an empty room. He made his way to the bathroom; he opened the door slowly to find Taylor lying in the bathtub under bubbles.

Her eyes were closed as she hummed along to her Ipod; he smiled watching her before he took a step closer.

"Taylor," he said as her eyes flew open. She took her earphones out, smiling at him.

"Hey, did I wake you?" she asked moving the bubbles around with her hand.

"No, I just woke up and you weren't there, I was worried"

"Ryan, I need to tell you something," she said looking into his eyes.

"How about you tell me something and I do the same," he said sitting down on the ground next to the tub.

"I think about you everyday, when I left I didn't just leave my boyfriend but my best friend."

He cleared his throat, "I spent the last three years trying not to love you but in the end it only made me love you even more."

"I could never ever go on a second date with any man because at the end of the night, he wasn't you."

He reached out for her hand, "I slept alone for three years thinking I might wake up one morning with you by my side."

"Ryan, I write an advice column for the Cal paper and every question I answer I wonder what you would think"

"Taylor, I think you underestimate me, I knew that. I have your column web page set at my home page, tell me something else."

"I can't sleep at night because I see him, he is my nightly nightmare, but in my dreams you come to save me every night."

"I started writing in a journal everyday since you left, every day I thought about sending you one."

"I haven't been able to watch anime since I left you, I tried once but it wasn't the same without you snoring on my shoulder," she said putting her hand on his face, touching her fingers to his soft lips.

He smiled as she removed her fingers, "Taylor, I want to be with you, I want to forgive you but I need you to forgive yourself before any of that can happen."

He wiped away a tear flowing down her face, "Let's go to bed," he said standing up grabbing a towel.

"Just sleep?" she said taking the towel from his hand.

"Just sleep," he said watching her wrap the towel around her body.

He walked out of the bathroom to get her something to wear. He came back moments later with an old t-shirt from his closet.

"Thank you, Ryan," she said taking the shirt from his hand.

"I'm gonna go get into bed, come when you're ready," he said walking away from her.

He rolled over for the tenth time wondering if she would ever come to bed, seconds later he felt the weight of the bed shift. Her tiny body moved slowly across the bed till she stopped inches from his body.

"Will you hold me," she whispered towards his ear. No response was necessary in his mind. He rolled over slowly; he took one arm slipping it under her neck and the other he placed on her waist. She moved back into his body in an almost careful moment.

"This ok," he whispered into her ear.

"I won't see him tonight; so yes this is ok."

His eyes closed within moment; he started to snore silently. She smiled one last time before drifting off to sleep.

* * *

Thanks to my Beta Allyse, you rock my socks. I hope you all enjoy the update. Let me know what you think, and thanks for the reviews.

peace out Lindsay


	11. What Goes Around Come Around

The morning mist was creeping through an open window. The sun was no where to be found but the two people sleeping could have cared less. Ryan's arm was still protectively around Taylor's waist while her face was snuggled into the L of his neck. His light snoring was the only noise in the pool house until Ryan's cell phone went off.

He woke almost pushing her tiny frame from his but her hand stopped him.

"I'll get it," she yawned reaching over his body to the nightstand where the loud noise was coming from. She hit end on his cell phone before sinking back into his body.

"I have to go, I have one more final today," he whispered into her ear.

"Ry, we still have a lot to talk about, but today Summer and I are going to the Anti-Mall to shop for an outfit for her birthday party tomorrow," she whispered into his neck.

He kissed her forehead as he got out of bed; he picked out clean clothes and went to the restroom.

Taylor rolled over and grabbed her cell phone from the other nightstand. She heard him turn on the shower as she said, "Summer," into her phone.

"Towns, if your not bleeding from the neck or about to order me a ice blended mocha from Coffee Bean, then I will kill you myself."

"Sum, who's on the phone?"

"It's Tay, she wants me to kill her"

"Will you two shut up, I'm calling from the pool house, we need a girl meeting in 20," she said closing her cell phone as Ryan came out of the bathroom. He was shirtless with an old pair of jeans rubbing his head with a towel.

"Who you talking to?" he said with a smile.

"Um, ya no one you know," she said laughing.

He walked over to the bed, jumping on top of her. His hands moved to her least favorite spot.

"Ryan, don't you dare," she said trying to grab his arms. She was too slow; his hand grabbed hers holding them above her head with one hand.

His lose hand was touching her side, tickling her.

"Ryan nooooo, stop Ryan please"

"Tell me who you called and I let go"

She was laughing too hard for him to understand anything she said.

"Summer, I called her," he let go as she spoke. She laughed as he stood up, grabbing her hand; pulling her to her feet.

He smirked, as he looked her up and down; she was wearing nothing but his favorite old t-shirt. She looked beautiful he thought. He watched as she tugged on his shirt, trying to pull it down past her knees.

"Ryan, stop looking at me, go to class"

He smiled, "I'm leaving now, have fun with Sum.

She watched him walk out of the pool house and into the kitchen. She smiled, watching him walk away. He always looked good walking away.

* * *

Summer watched as Taylor tried on her third dress, "Tay, this isn't the dress. I told you we wouldn't find anything at the Anti-Mall, can we just hit up Fashion Island or the Spectrum, now?" 

"You know I don't buy new clothes anymore, I am all about second hand now"

Summer walked over to her friend, "I have had enough of your second hand bull crap, Tay. It is time to dress up and get your man back."

"A dress isn't going to do that, Ryan isn't like that and you know it."

"We are leaving this cesspool of crap and going to a place where we can find you a hot ass dress, so don't fight it," she said dragging her friend out of the Anti-Mall.

Summer dragged her out of the Anti-Mall into her car on her way to Fashion Island.

* * *

Ryan walked out of his last exam into the now beaming sunshine of springtime mid afternoon sun. He smiled as he walked out of the old white building when he saw Seth walking in a circle in the grass in front of him talking on his cell phone. 

Seth walked over to his friend, "Dude, who knew Chapman was the place to find hot ass.."

"Seth, don't finish that sentence please"

"I was going to say taco's but whatever man, I came to see if you wanted to get dinner tonight"

The two friends walked to Ryan's apartement, as they left the elevator on his floor they were met by a beautiful blonde.

"Ryan Atwood, where have you been my whole life? I thought we had plans the other night"

Seth stopped in his tracks when he heard the woman's voice. It was a voice he knew.

Anna Stern.

Ryan took her into a hug as Seth stood frozen watching the scene unfold.

"Anna, I was busy because this guy right here, got engaged."

"Seth, you finally asked Summer to marry you, that is fantastic," she said taking a step towards him.

Seth watched in slow motion as his ex-girlfriend walked towards him with open arms. He told him body to open up to hug her but nothing happened.

"Seth, dude you awake?" Ryan said slugging his arm.

Seth's eyes came to life, "All I heard was last night and plans, Wait Anna you go here?"

"Yes, Cohen I go here, have since last year. Didn't Ryan tell you?" she said looking over at Ryan.

Ryan cleared his throat, "I guess it never came up."

Seth watched as Anna kissed Ryan's cheek, "I gotta go, call me when you want to hang out again. Seth tell Summer I said congrats."

Seth watched her walk to the elevator, leaving them standing in front of Ryan's dorm room.

Seth looked over to his friend, "I think it's time for one of our bonding moments, but this time I won't just talk about myself."

"I think you're right," Ryan said unlocking his apartment door.

* * *

I was a bit drunk writting this so forgive me, and thanks to my Beta's Lex, Polia and Jackie, its takes a village, I hope my semi-twist doesn't piss to many people off... Read and Review. 

Thanks for everyone who reviewed the last chapter your a class act...

peace out Lindsay


	12. All I Want for Christmas is You

_The lights for the houses surrounding the Newport Beach Hospital were glowing the colors of the rainbow. The sounds of TV surrounding their room were playing Christmas themed shows while the radios in other room were softly playing holiday music from the past. The twinkle lights the Cohen's left were blinking through out the room while the get-well cards were intertwined with the Chrismukkah cards. The room smelled of food no human should ever have to eat, especially on Christmas._

_Ryan was lying in his bed waving goodnight to his parents, as Taylor hugged Julie one last time before she left. The room went silent; the twosome was alone for the first time since they fought on the roof._

_"Look Taylor," he said looking over to her bed._

_"No Ryan," she said at the same time._

_They smiled, as Ryan crawled out of bed, he walked the two steps to her bed. She moved over giving him the space he needed to get into her bed._

_"I need you to know what happened today."_

_"Ryan, I know you're not ready…" she said before his fingers stopped her from speaking._

_"I just can't be your boyfriend, I want to be with you but the title; it just can't happen, till I'm ready."_

_She smiled leaning her head on his shoulder, "I can do that, Ryan. I just want to be with you."_

_His face went blank, "I got a letter from Marissa today, and it spooked me. It reminded me she will always be here."_

_Taylor placed her hand over his, "I don't want to replace her, I just want you to know that."_

_He turned his hand over to intertwine his hand with hers, "It's not about replacing her, it's about forgetting her."_

_"I won't let that happen Ryan."_

_He turned his body into hers, "I like you Taylor, I want you to know that. I really like you and I am happy that I am spending Chrismukkah with you."_

_She leaned into his face, stopping less then an inch from his face, "Merry Chrismukkah Ryan," she whispered as his lips met hers._

* * *

The only sound that could be heard for miles was Ryan clearing his throat for the third time since joining Seth in his room, at casa Cohen. The walls of his room, bare of any remissness of a Seth from five years ago, the walls blank other then a huge poster of Atomic County behind his bed. Ryan sat watching Seth moving his hands in across his face one last time before he spoke. 

"Anna, transferred to Chapman last year, and yes we have been friends, but no it's been nothing more."

Seth rolled his eyes; "So you're telling me you never, what is it the kids call it "tapped that ass"?"

Ryan stood walking over to Seth side, "Don't say that ever again, and no I never slept with her, she has just been a good friend."

"Like friend's with benefit, cause I know a certain Kid Chino who loves to save the ladies, and he also loves making out with those ladies," Seth said tapping his brother's arm.

"When has Anna ever needed saving Seth?"

Seth shrugged his shoulders, "Dude I don't know, but your not known to be the best guy friend to the ladies for Newport"

"She is my friend, she listens to me, which you normally have issues doing," he laughed, watching Seth nod his head.

"I know I have my self absorbed moments, but I am working on it"

Ryan just laughed watching his friend realize nothing ever changed around here. Since Seth had bought Summer's engagement ring things seemed to change more then had in the past. He seemed to realize there was more to life then Seth Cohen.

"So has being just friends with a girl working out, ever?"

"Seth, I am working things out with Taylor; she is the only woman for me."

Seth watched his brother speak and for the first time saw the look on his face. It was the forced look he used to use when speaking of Marissa but this look, the real thing. Even after all these years, he was still in love with Taylor.

"Hey, Ryan, just remember things in Newport only stay so good for so long before karma comes around to kick us in our ass'."

* * *

This chapter is way short but I just wanted you to have a little something. Thanks for your positive reviews. I hope you all enjoyed tonight's show cause it's almost sad it might be the last Chrismukkah episode ever : ( Thanks to my Beta, Lex, she is fantastic and quick. Peace out - Lindsay 


	13. Pieces of Me

The day had come quicker then she would have hoped, Summer's birthday was today. The two friends, along with Kaitlin Cooper had gone to the spa then out for lunch at Fashion Island.

The noise of the Cheesecake Factory was pulsating though the three women as they sat at the bar. It was the louder then any club any of them had been to before. The bartender kept coming by, asking the women if they wanted another drink, the only person who said yes was Kaitlin who was using a fake id. Not that it mattered, he never checked the beautiful girls ID.

She had grown into an even more stunning version of her younger self. Every time Taylor saw her, she looked more and more like Marissa each time. Where as Marissa's beauty was classic, her sister was more striking in a modern way. She wore only brown mascara with brown eyeliner and skin toned lipstick. Kaitlin was more of a punk rock princess then Newport socialite, but with a college twist. Her only vice left was the love of good mix drink. She had given up smoking bud when she reached her senior year, with a little help from a speech Ryan liked to call, "Kaitlin, I will kick your ass if you don't quit."

The bartender walked by the three woman one more time before Summer looked over to see 7 people in all white walking towards her with a piece of cheesecake with a candle. The group started singing her a cheesy birthday song, as the three woman posed for a picture.

"Make a wish, Sum"

"No more wishes, I have everything I want," Summer, said looking at her friends then to her sparkling engagement ring," I am just lucky I can share this with you two."

"Roberts, you're making me want to puke. Let's just eat the cheesecake and go, cause my gift is waiting for us at our house," Kaitlin said smiling.

"Mini Coop, if there is a stripper waiting at our house for us, I will kick your ass"

She laughed, taking another bite, "No the Step-Alien is home, and it's better then a bare ass. I promise."

Taylor's mind was drifting, as the friendly banter between her friends got worst. She was brought back to life when Kaitlin hit her leg, "Towns, get your cute ass up. It's time to go."

Taylor pushed Kaitlin back into her seat, "Ladies, I need you both to tell me again my dress for tonight isn't to slutty?"

They were laughing at the sad and pathetic look of her face.

"Whore-tastic dress."

"Tramp-tastic dress," Summer looked over to Kaitlin nodding.

"Slut-tastic dress."

Summer laughed, "Taylor, again, the dress looks fantastic. Please don't make us think of any more words with tastic at the end."

"Thanks guys, I think. I just want to look nice for Ryan"

"Towns, you should try looking nice for yourself, see where that takes you."

The three women walked out into the parking lot to Kaitlin's red Mini Cooper. The last thing that could be heard before the last door closed shut was a final, "Ho-tastic dress"

* * *

The ride to Julie Cooper's house was spent listening to an old CD Marissa had made Summer for her 13th birthday. It was full of music from 2000 and 2001 that should have died then. The noise of "bye bye bye" rang though the small car, as the girls inside sang along.

As they pulled up to Casa Cooper, Summer smiled at her childhood home.

"You know I still can't believe Julie won the lottery last year and finally bought this house from my dad."

"Well, you know us Cooper's, we make it happen and if we can't we sleep with someone who can," she said shutting off her car.

"So what is this birthday gift you have for Summer, Kait?" Taylor asked as the walked in the front door.

"Calm down ladies, all I can say is; it won't bite. Unless you ask real nice," she laughed opening the door to the living room.  
The birthday girl was in utter shock, a room full of Vera Wang wedding dresses and two very gay looking men. Both men were dressed in pink button up shirts with black slacks; eyebrows waxed, eyeliner on and huge smiles. Summer screamed in joy when she recognized the two men. They were her favorite wedding stylists, Marshall and Maximilian.

The rest of the day the three friends spent trying on dresses and getting their hair and make up done. Tonight was going to be off the chain, as Kaitlin would say.

* * *

The Cohen's house was buzzing with dinner plans for Summer's birthday. Kirsten had order food from The Chart House, wrapped gifts and ironed her men all shirts for tonight. She was about to head up stairs to take a nap when her son's entered the kitchen.

"Mother, woman for bore me, loved me always. Lady who loved me when no one would…"

"Seth, I will wrap whatever you two bought today," she laughed as her son's faced smiled huge.

"Kirsten, you don't have to do that, you have done enough. We can wrap the rest of the gifts, Seth was just being."

"He man, I am standing here," he said punching Ryan's arm.

Ryan froze as Seth's hand hit his arm. He turned to Seth with his famous death glare.

"Ok buddy, no more love taps, got it"

Kirsten laughed taking all the bags from her son's hands, "Did you boys leave anything at the Spectrum for other's to buy?"

"Seth, went a little crazy at Target and Macy's," Ryan said rolling his eyes.

"Dude, this is the girl who said yes to me, she is gonna marry me. She gets as many gifts as Mr. Visa will allow. And you're one to talk, he bought Taylor.."

This time it was Ryan's punch on the arm that silenced his brother.

"You bought Taylor something Ryan, that is very sweet. Are you two back together? Cause you know Sandy and I love her. I would be nice to know your happy Ryan."  
Ryan again gave his famous death glare.

"Ok, to soon for questions about Taylor, got it." Kirsten said, walking past Ryan, planting a kiss on his forehead. "You're so cute when you give the death glare."

Ryan smiled as Kirsten left the kitchen.

"What time is everyone showing up tonight, again?"

"Seth, it's your girlfriend's birthday dinner, you know what time it starts so think of something knew to talk about, before I leave you here to talk about yourself."

Seth smiled with a knowing look, "You wanna talk about Taylor again, don't you?"

"I am leaving now," he said walking past his brother.

"Listen Ryan, go get yourself pretty for tonight. I know you need some alone time with your bathroom mirror before Taylor shows up"

Ryan stopped dead in his tracks inches from the back door, he turned back to look at a now scared looking Seth, "You remember I can kill you with my pinky right?"

"Um, yep"

"See you for dinner then," he said laughing all the way to the pool house.

* * *

Dinner happened almost to fast for Taylor, sitting next to Ryan at the long kitchen table was driving her insane. His elbow would brush hers, each time he would look over to her with his steel blue eyes smiling.

As Summer started her thank you speech, Ryan had put his hand on her leg under the table. It was a simple jester, he had done many times, and she thought he didn't even realize he had done it.

She slowly placed her tiny hand on his, smiling looking for to him. He was already looking at her. He turned his hand over, taking her hand in his. Each finger intertwined with hers. Their eyes frozen together for moments till she heard her name.

"Tay, time to put our amazing dresses on," Summer said grabbing Taylor arm, pulling her front the table. Her tiny hand clung to Ryan's for a split second more.

"Seth, we will meet you guys at Boom, in an hour," she said before she shut the front door.

Ryan was irritated at Summer for ruining his moment with Taylor but it was her birthday he thought.

He watched as Sandy bought Kirsten a handful of dishes from the table, he placed them on the counter before grabbing his wife's waist. Her wet hands slapping his away but they were no match for his. He swung her around to the beat of the music playing from the living room. She placed her head on his shoulder before Seth ruined the moment.

"Your children don't want to watch this scene," he said ducking as Sandy threw a dishtowel at him.

Ryan's mind was swirling with thoughts of marriage, family and Taylor. Then he was brought back to life by the realization he didn't know her now but he wanted too. He had a choice to make he thought.

He grabbed his cell phone, taking a step outside. He called the one person who could help him, Anna.

* * *

I hope this was worth the wait, it's all leading back to Chapter 1 very soon. Thanks for all your reviews and views, my stats are blowing my mind. So thank you, keep the kind words coming. I should update a couple more times before Xmas.

- Happy Holidays Lindsay


	14. Bold as Love

Anna Stern stepped out of her bathroom running to the noise of her cell phone ringing. She looked down, smiling as she clicked the green button.

"Tell me something new?"

"I need your advice," he said, smiling into the phone.

"Kiss her, Ryan. Just do it"

"How did you know?"

She laughed, "Cause I know you Ryan. All these years have passed, you have changed into this amazing man but part of you has changed. You're not as impulsive as you once were."

"It's only been a couple of days but I'm in deep again with her, I don't think I can let her go this time. My heart can't take it, Anna."

"Just kiss her, Ryan but hey, I have to go, my girlfriend is waiting for me downstairs. Let me know how it goes."

He smiled, "Tell Kate I said hey and thanks again."

He closed his phone with a snap of the wrist. Ryan was about to take the next step in getting her back into his life.

He walked across the kitchen, into the living room, before stopping in front of Sandy's office. His hand hit the door just as Sandy opened it.

"Hey kid," he said, letting the younger man into his space.

"I need your help," Ryan said sitting down in a chair across from a now seated Sandy.

* * *

Taylor stood in front of the mirror in Summer's huge bathroom. Her red dress clung to every inch of her body. It had been years since she had worn anything this tight or sexy. She wondered yet again if the dress was too much. She looked at the mirror one last time before walking into Summer's room.

"Now that's what I'm talking about, hot mama much," Summer said, walking over to her. She grabbed one of Taylor's hand, gesturing for her to twirl around.

"I'm gonna need a lot of wine in order to leave your house looking like this," she said, running a nervous hand through her hair.

"Wine sounds good, and Cohen should be here soon," she said, grabbing a bottle of wine from her mini fridge.

"Did someone say my name?" Seth yelled, from the staircase outside of Summer's room.

Taylor instantly became nervous, as Ryan would be walking in the room any second. She patted her dress down for the third time and rolled her tongue over her front teeth to check for food or lipstick.

She watched as Seth entered the room, he walked over to Summer kissing her cheek. He then looked over to Taylor with a look of regret.

"Where's Ryan?" she asked in a small voice.

"Something came up, he said he would try to come but wasn't sure," he said giving her a weak smile.

She stood stunned, thinking of all the reasons why he wouldn't come. Summer was one of his best friends, he wouldn't do that to her she thought.

She cleared her throat, "Thanks Seth, and stop looking at me like I am going to break. I can see him tomorrow. We still have a day here, and anyways this is Summer's birthday, so how about we toast to the birthday girl."

Seth took the bottle of wine from Summer, opening and then pouring three glasses full. The three friends raised their glasses high in the air before Seth began to speak.

"Summer, you're my lobster," he said laughing, as she swatted him with her empty hand.

"No really, I love you and happy birthday to you, my personal wonder woman," he said clinking his glass against the two others.

Taylor finished her sip before speaking, "Summer, my roommate and best friend, wishing you a happy birthday is the least I can do for a person who pulled me out of my own personal hell and brought me back to life. I love you girly."

Again, they all clinked glasses before Summer with a tear in her eye began to speak, "I want to thank you both for being her for me, and I love you both."

She looked up, "And Marissa I know your up there somewhere watching us right now, wish you were here."

As they all finished there own glasses, Seth motioned for the door, "Let's get this party started my peeps."

"Your peeps, Cohen? No more talking tonight, just stand next to me and look pretty," she laughed, putting her hand over his mouth.

Taylor watched with a bit of jealousy in her eyes before shaking the thought from her face.

* * *

The loud music from the club was booming though every inch of her body. Her red dress swaying with the beat; her body sweating with every moment her dress made. It was only after her third drink did she notice her friends had left but for her the only thing that mattered at this moment was the music. Her body taking in every note; every boom like she had never heard a note of music before this night.

She was lost in a moment only to be brought back to life by a strangers hands on her waist. His large hands wrapping around her tiny waist was like heaven to her. His upper body grinded into hers as she lost a moment of reality to his hands; they were gliding down her back as she made eyes contact with the DJ.

He smiled at her; starting a song she hadn't heard in years.

Her body pushed against his; lost in the moment but then she remember she had no idea who she was dancing with and as he handed her another drink, it didn't matter anymore. She took the shot before throwing the glass to the floor. She could feel his smile on her neck.

Taylor had spent years being a good girl and she was done with that life; after all this was what college was about. Leaving her past in the past.

She took put her hand on his as it trailed along her neck bone. Every touch was an awakening she hadn't felt in years. Her body felt his electricity as his hands made their way down her sides. She wanted his hands in places that hadn't been touched in years but she wasn't one of those girls she told herself.

His breath on her neck; made her move her body closer to his. She wasn't one for dirty dancing but her body with his was almost poetry in moment. A moment like this doesn't come very often she thought.

Her body fit perfectly with his as they moved to the song. His every moment was tearing her apart inside. His hands moving back up her hipbones were making her body shiver with anticipation.

His hands twirled her around; her face making contact with his chest before looking up to see his face.

As her eyes trailed from his chest to his eyes; she gasped.

"Ryan," was all she could say, before his mouth covered hers.

It had been three years since she had kissed him.

His mouth overwhelmed hers with a passion he had never had before, she thought, as she dug her fingernails into his neck. The need for her mouth to stay connected to his was a feeling she had missed. Their bodies pushed through the crowds of people on the dance floor making their way some how thought an exit door. As the door closed silence fell but they hadn't notices as their kiss deepened.

His hands moved down to her rear end picking her tiny body up, she wrapped her legs around his body as her backside hit a wall.

She was brought back to life when someone walking by screamed, "get a room."

As she pulled her mouth away from his, he set her back on the ground still holding on to her. His large hands running slowly down her back stopping at the curve of her back, he looked down to her beautiful brown eyes.

"I want this to work, I want to be with you."

"Ryan, I want that too," she said kissing his chin while slowly running her fingernails from the back of his neck to his Adam's apple.

"But it's not going to work with you being at Cal and me at Chapman."

She pulled back from his body in shock. The vein in her forehead was pulsating with anger.

"What, so you come here, kiss me, and then walk away, I guess we're even now. You come here, kiss me, and stupid Taylor thinks everything will work out, but you're right Ryan. This can't work so you are right Ryan. Thanks for the kiss…"

He pulled her body into his again. Her face was on fire with anger as she tried to pull away from his grip.

"Taylor will you shut up for one second," he yelled.

Her body language changed in seconds, as Ryan's raised his voice. She took her hands covering her chest while she tried to take a step back but only hit a wall.

"You can't talk to me like that, Ryan."

"I am sorry Taylor, but I have good news. Hell we have good news but you just have to let me talk."

"There is nothing you say that starts with but it won't work, that will make me feel better."

"I am going to Cal for Summer and then Fall session, I worked it out tonight with Sandy and his friend the Dean at Cal."

Her faced changed as his words sunk in, Ryan was going to go to Cal with her.

Before Ryan could speak again her mouth covered his with hers before pulling back, "Thank you, Ryan."

* * *

Not my best chapter but its the holdays and my mind has gone to shit. Thanks to my beta Lex...

Lindsay


	15. Seabreeze

She stood up taking in the scene in front of her. Taylor spoke with a proud voice repeating stories of their past and ending her short speech with a quote from another luminous day all those years ago.

"Amicitiae nostrae memoriam spero sempiternam fore," she stated from the second time in her life, "… I hope that the memory of our friendship will be everlasting, cheers to bride and groom on the most memorable day of their new life together."

She wiped a single tear from her eyes as the wedding party clink their glasses together. Taylor had spent the last year trying to put into words what it meant to be here today at the wedding of her friends Summer Roberts and Seth Cohen.

Her midnight blue dress was cling to her tiny frame as she took her seat next to the bride. She looked over at her friend with a smile.

"Sum, I hope that was ok," she whispered taking a drink from her water glass.

"Taylor, it was perfect, Seth and I are very blessed to have you here," she said coming in for a hug.

As Summer pulled away from her, she could hear a clink of a wine glass. She looked over to see Ryan Atwood standing up.

It had been a year since they had reunited. He was her favorite sweatshirt because Ryan Atwood always fit, was always soft and never cared if there were cuts because he would help her sew them. They had become what they once were all those years ago. Only this time he was there to pick her up when she fell. She would not be running away ever again because he wouldn't let her go. They lived together in a small house a mile from the Cohen's house in Berkeley. Ryan spent his days building homes for the less fortunate while Taylor counseled abused women. With the help of her friends and the Cohen's she had taken her life back, by seeking the support she now handed out.

She waited as Ryan hugged his brother before clearing his throat before he began to speak.

"I am not a man of many words, that has been my brother's place for years so today I raise my glass to the happy couple, may your laughter never end, the rage blackouts be very rarely and your lives together be filled with every opportunity for greatness that can only happen when you are together," he raised his glass into the air before speaking again.

"Here's to Spiderman kisses, Kissing Cart confessions and loving banter for the rest of your lives, cheers."

Taylor watched as Ryan sat back down. He looked so handsome in his suite and tie.

Taylor stood up making her way to his side as the DJ started to play her favorite song, Seabreeze.

"May I have this dance?" she whispered into his ear as his eyes met hers.

"As long as you take off those heels," he said looking down at his own feet.

"Ry, your still pouting about Summer making all the men go barefoot," she said slipping off her heels.

"If my feet are dirty, you my dear will have dirty feet as well," he said grabbing her by the hand as he led her to the dance floor.

"Ryan Atwood, I do declare that is the most romantic thing you have said to me all day," she said in her best southern accent.

Ryan laughed looking back at her as they entered the dance floor, "Frankly my dear I don't give a…."

He was stopped when her mouth covered his. He pulled her in tighter before they were pulled back into reality by one Sandy Cohen.

"Look kids, I don't want to have to separate you too but I will. You don't want the Nana to give you one of her lectures about PDA's," he laughed pulling his wife in before dipping her.

"I think the more important part of that comment is that the Nana knows what a PDA is," Ryan laughed.

The song changed leading the couple to take a walk to the edge of the property to have a private moment. Ryan sat down on a stone bench as Taylor twirled to the song playing in the background before sitting down on his lap.

Taylor pulled Ryan in closer whispering into his ear, "Thank you, Ryan Atwood."

He pulled back at her, to see the expression on her face, "Tay, you're always welcome but I am not sure what you are thanking me for?"

She stood up placing her hands on his shoulders, "For helping me get up this morning and for holding my hair back when I got sick. You're getting to be the master at hair holding, ever thought of a career in it?"

He stood up placing a hand onto her stomach, "I think I should stick to the career I have since this little one will need bottles, cloths and a roof over it's head."

"Are you saying your son or daughter wouldn't have a stable life with a father who just knows how to hold back women's hair? I think he or she would be proud of you either way. Just like I am," she said putting her hand over his.

"Well, Mr. Atwood I think you have the right idea. Stick to our plan," she said laughing.

"And what plan is that Mrs. Atwood?"

Taking his face in her tiny hands she said, "Well my love, to love you everyday like it's the last, to hold you closer then before and to never forget where we came from because it made us who we are today."

His pulled her into a kiss as she spoke her last word.


End file.
